Mother Bear

So it finally happened. We've all had our mother bear instinct take over once in a while but once in a blue moon do we really feel the anger brought about when someone wrongs your child. Yesterday was the day and it took my 4 year old to call me out on my unforgiving moment. It was an afternoon like all the others. Chaos crowding our street with children running barefoot and riding bikes with a nonchalant glance for cars when they remembered. Well...it just so happened that I was the only parent out as all the others had left for back to school night leaving their 10 and 11 year-olds to watch the younger siblings...complete with lists of instructions for the hour long duration they would not be present.

The activity moved further up the culdesac as a I followed. One of the more energetic kids on our street whom exudes more confidence than any normal first grader ever displays was riding his bike faster than his ability to maneuver. That's when it happened 3 feet in front of me. In his lack of 6 year old logic in neglecting to anticipate Amy's move 6 inches to the right he mowed her over sending her skidding across the asphalt with a final smack to her right temple.

I immediately yelled "oh my gosh!" (not sure why "what the hell!" didn't come out but it seems my Mormon mouth is well established) and swooped her up running her home while she let out the piercing scream after the 4 second gasping breath....the kind that babies make in sacrament before their mothers can usher them out to the foyer...only this was worse.

At that point I feared two things. First was whether or not Amy split her head open and the second was if I could really keep myself from berating the 6 year old who clearly lacked every kind of judgement a teenage driver learns in drivers ed. Deep down I knew it really wouldn't help and I would forever been known and the evil mother on the street with red eyes and a foaming mouth. So I took Amy upstairs with both of us in tears by now...her from the pain and me from the emotions bubbling up from the mother bear inside me.

After we brought the crying down to a mere sob and sniffle here and there in the bath Jamison came upstairs telling me everyone was at the door to see if Amy was ok. Inside I was saying..."NO! of course she's not ok...some idiot kid just sent her flying across the asphalt giving her road rash up the side of her body and face," but of course I again amazed myself and firmly said it was time for everyone to go home and for Jamison to get in the bath. Sensing my anger he sat on the stairs with his back to me while I was still in the bathroom helping Amy. I asked if he was ok and he immediately starting sobbing...of course me rolling my eyes thinking, "why are you crying, you're not the one who just got rammed into the asphalt?" He walked over head down, shoulders slumped with his alligator tears already falling and said, "Mommy, I don't want you to be upset with my friend."

So now I feel mother bear anger, fear, AND guilt from my 4 year-old because I can't demonstrate forgiveness on top of restraint. Not to mention Greg had left right before this because he had a "rough" day and just needed to leave. Can't I just catch a break here?

So we all calmed down after I explained how Mommy was upset because so and so wasn't being careful and how I was worried Amy could have been seriously hurt but everything was going to be ok. Thank goodness that was all he needed to hear because I wasn't sure at the point whether I could dig deeper for anymore self control.

So the phone calls came in from the other kids parents which Greg answered at my request and gave the expected..."oh she's ok....it just happens....they're just kids." I of course still fuming.

This morning I was mostly calmed down and by the afternoon all was well. The cute kid came over to give Amy a card that said "I love you" with a 1st grader rendition of them holding hands. Amy loved it and I felt resolved.

I hope I can demonstrate the same restraint the next time mother bear rages within. So pin a ribbon on me:)